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Boosting Self Esteem in Autistic Folks: Embracing Strengths and Overcoming Challenges

Writer's picture: Caitlin HughesCaitlin Hughes

Updated: Jan 29

Introduction


The importance of self-esteem for everyday life


Self-esteem profoundly affects our daily lives, influencing confidence, resilience, and self-perception. It plays a vital role in our thoughts, emotions, and actions. Those with high self-esteem have a positive outlook, resilience, and cope well with stress. They embrace challenges, pursue goals, and experience greater success and satisfaction. Higher self-esteem in autistic folks is linked to improved mental health outcomes, including greater life satisfaction, resilience, and coping abilities (Corden et al., 2021).


Conversely, low self-esteem in autistic folks leads to feelings of worthlessness, self-doubt, and anxiety, impacting mental health (Nguyen et al., 2020). Autistic adults often experience lower self-esteem and mental wellbeing compared to non-autistic individuals (Corden et al., 2021).


How self-esteem manifests in everyday life for autistic folks


Self-esteem is evident in the daily lives of autistic folks, seen in their pride in their autistic identity, self-acceptance, self-compassion, optimism, and involvement in the autistic community (Corden et al., 2021). However, misunderstandings and stereotypes about autism can lead to isolation and self-doubt (Nguyen et al., 2020). Challenges in social communication and sensory differences impact relationships and social situations, potentially affecting self-esteem. Low self-esteem can have various impacts on the daily lives of autistic folks (Nguyen et al., 2020). For instance, it can make it harder to find employment or form social relationships. Managing social situations may be difficult for those with low self-esteem, resulting in loneliness and perpetuating negative self-perception.


Why it's critical to foster healthy self-esteem for Autistic Folks


Autistic folks with a positive sense of self-worth and collective self-esteem tend to experience improved psychological well-being, resulting in lower depression and anxiety (Cooper et al., 2021). When confident in their abilities, autistic folks are more likely to advocate for their needs, seek supportive relationships, and engage in fulfilling activities (Darazsdi & Bialka, 2023). Healthy self-esteem encourages self-awareness and acceptance, allowing autistic folks to embrace autism as part of their identity (Cooper et al., 2017; Corden et al., 2021).


Understanding Self-Esteem


Definition of self-esteem


Self-esteem refers to an individual's overall sense of personal worth. It includes beliefs like "I am competent" and "I am worthy" and the emotions tied to these beliefs. It is influenced by experiences, relationships, achievements, and the environment. Self-esteem is dynamic, shaped by life experiences and one's self-narrative. It's about recognising your inherent worth, embracing your unique qualities and abilities, and accepting yourself, flaws and all.


What does healthy self-esteem look like for autistic individuals?


Autistic folks with healthy self-esteem understand their strengths and navigate the world confidently. They use positive self-talk for motivation, rather than negative self-talk or self-criticism. They bounce back from setbacks, viewing them as growth opportunities. They assert their needs confidently in different settings, rather than feeling powerless. Healthy self-esteem for autistic individuals means feeling comfortable and confident in our own skin, and navigating the world authentically and fulfilling in our own way (Darazsdi & Bialka, 2023).


Healthy self-esteem for autistic individuals involves having a positive autistic personal identity, taking pride in being autistic, and accepting it as an important part of who we are. This positive identity is associated with higher levels of self-esteem, involving self-acceptance, self-compassion, optimism, and self-satisfaction (Cooper et al., 2017; Corden et al., 2021). Healthy self-esteem for autistic individuals means feeling good about oneself as an autistic person and having a positive view of the autistic community (Cage et al., 2018).


How self-esteem affects daily life and relationships


In daily life, a strong sense of self-esteem helps autistic folks to confidently navigate various situations, from academic or professional environments to everyday tasks. It allows them to approach challenges with a problem-solving mindset and resilience, rather than seeing them as insurmountable obstacles.


In relationships, autistic individuals with higher self-esteem are more likely to form healthy, mutually respectful connections (Corden et al., 2021; Darazsdi & Bialka, 2023; Nguyen et al., 2020). They are capable of asserting themselves and their needs, setting appropriate boundaries, and seeking support when necessary. They can communicate more effectively and are less likely to tolerate disrespectful or harmful behavior, leading to more fulfilling relationships.


Factors Influencing Self-Esteem in Autistic Individuals


Societal perception and stigma of autism


The perception and stigma surrounding autism profoundly affect the self-esteem of autistic folks. Goffman's Theory of Social Stigma (2009) suggests that labels can undermine one's identity, leading to social ostracization and disruption of identity development. This notion applies to autistic individuals who may face stigma and discrimination, negatively impacting personal identity. Misunderstandings and stereotypes in society can be damaging, impacting our sense of worth (Botha et al., 2022). Media portrayal often lacks diversity, perpetuating harmful myths, negative stereotypes which leads to marginalisation. This stigma instils shame, inadequacy, and isolation, negatively impacting self-esteem (Leedham et al., 2020).


Challenges in communication and social interaction


The 'double empathy problem' suggests that the communication gap between non-autistic and autistic individuals goes both ways. It challenges the perception that autistic folks solely carry the burden of communication difficulties. Non-autistic individuals struggle to understand and empathise with the autistic experience, just as autistic individuals may with the non-autistic experience. This disconnect can lead to misunderstandings, social isolation, and impact the self-esteem of autistic folks (Cooper et al., 2017).


Lack of understanding or acceptance from others


The lack of understanding or acceptance from others can severely impact the self-esteem of autistic individuals. Being misunderstood or rejected by peers, family, educators, or society at large can lead to feelings of isolation, helplessness, and low self-worth. A lack of acceptance can compound these difficulties, creating a vicious cycle that further erodes self-esteem. In a study conducted by Cooper et al. (2021) autistic participants reported instances where others attributed stereotypical views of autism to them, showing a limited understanding beyond their diagnosis. This can be especially harmful in therapy, where individuals seek support and validation for their experiences. These experiences strongly affect their self-esteem and ability to form positive therapeutic relationships (Darazsdi & Bialka, 2023).


Barriers to Building Self-Esteem in Autistic Individuals


Anxiety, depression, and negative self-talk


Anxiety, depression, and negative self-talk pose significant barriers to building self-esteem in autistic folks (Darazsdi & Bialka, 2023). Anxiety and depression can stem from or be exacerbated by societal challenges and stigma, leading to persistent feelings of worry, sadness, and low self-worth. Negative self-talk, which commonly occurs with anxiety and depression, can also have a detrimental impact on self-esteem. This involves a critical inner dialogue that reinforces feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness, further eroding self-esteem.


Challenges in social interaction and sensory issues


Autistic individuals often face challenges in social interaction and sensory processing, which can greatly affect their self-esteem (Cooper et al., 2021; Darazsdi & Bialka, 2023). The double empathy problem, mentioned earlier, plays a significant role in these challenges. Autistic folks navigate a world primarily designed for non-autistic individuals, often misunderstanding or undervaluing our unique modes of communication and interaction. This lack of mutual understanding can lead to frustration and social isolation, negatively impacting their self-esteem. Additionally, sensory issues like hypersensitivity or hyposensitivity to certain stimuli can further complicate our daily experiences, causing discomfort, anxiety, or distress. These sensory challenges can worsen our difficulties in social interaction and contribute to lower self-esteem.


Difficulty in expressing emotions and feelings


Autistic individuals may face difficulty in expressing their emotions and feelings, contributing to challenges in self-esteem (Corden et al., 2021 ). This can stem from struggles with alexithymia, which is often associated with autism (Poquérusse et al., 2018). Alexithymia hinders an individual's ability to identify and describe emotions in the self. This difficulty can lead to emotional confusion, frustration, and a heightened likelihood of being misunderstood by others. In addition, the conventional methods of emotional expression relied upon by non-autistic individuals may not always align with how autistic individuals express their feelings. This discrepancy can lead to misinterpretation and invalidation of autistic folks' emotional experiences, which can negatively affect our self-esteem.


Strategies to Boost Self-Esteem in Autistic Individuals


Embracing personal strengths and achievements


Everyone possesses unique strengths and abilities, and this is no different for Autistic folks. Emphasising personal strengths, such as attention to detail, honesty, loyalty, and the ability to think differently, can empower autistic folks and boost their self-esteem (Cooper et al., 2021; Corden et al., 2021; Nguyen et al., 2020). Recognising and celebrating personal achievements, no matter how big or small, can also go a long way in building confidence. This could be mastering a new skill, completing a challenging task, or simply making progress in a personal goal. Constantly reminding us of our capabilities can help mitigate feelings of inadequacy and foster a more positive self-perception. It's crucial that educators, family members, and therapists highlight these strengths and achievements, thereby contributing to a positive reinforcement cycle that enhances self-esteem.


Connecting with the autism community for support and acceptance


Connecting with the autism community can provide a deep sense of support and acceptance for autistic individuals, significantly contributing to their self-esteem (Cooper et al., 2021; Corden et al., 2021). This community - comprising of other autistic individuals, families, caregivers, advocates, and professionals - offers a safe space where they can share experiences, seek advice, and find acceptance. Within this community, autistic folks can interact with others who truly understand their unique experiences and challenges, fostering a sense of belonging and reducing feelings of isolation. Additionally, the autism community advocates for autism acceptance and neurodiversity, promoting positive societal changes that can further boost the self-esteem of autistic individuals. Therefore, it's crucial to encourage engagement with this supportive community, facilitating connections that can help autistic folks see their unique abilities as strengths.


Practising self-compassion


Practising self-compassion is critical in fostering self-esteem among autistic folks (Nguyen et al., 2020). Practising self-compassion involves acknowledging personal struggles without judgement, treating oneself with kindness, and understanding that everyone experiences challenges. It's essential to remember that it's perfectly okay to make mistakes and have bad days. Self-compassion allows for a gentler internal dialogue, which can significantly enhance feelings of self-worth and confidence. Thus, promoting self-care and self-compassion strategies can go a long way in boosting self-esteem among autistic folks.


Conclusion


Self-esteem is crucial for the well-being of autistic folks. Navigating a non-autistic world, we face unique challenges impacting our self-esteem. Strengthening self-esteem through personal strengths, connecting with the autism community, and practising self-care is essential. By doing so, we enhance the quality of life, growth, and resilience of autistic folks. Let's continue to develop understanding, acceptance, and supportive environments to empower and champion autistic self-esteem.


References


Botha, M., Dibb, B., & Frost, D. M. (2022). “Autism is me”: an investigation of how autistic individuals make sense of autism and stigma. Disability & Society37(3), 427–453. https://doi.org/10.1080/09687599.2020.1822782


Cage, E., Di Monaco, J., & Newell, V. (2018). Experiences of Autism Acceptance and Mental Health in Autistic Adults. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders48(2), 473–484. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-017-3342-7


Cooper, K., Smith, L. G. E., & Russell, A. (2017). Social identity, self‐esteem, and mental health in autism. European Journal of Social Psychology47(7), 844–854. https://doi.org/10.1002/ejsp.2297


Cooper, R., Cooper, K., Russell, A. J., & Smith, L. G. E. (2021). “I’m Proud to be a Little Bit Different”: The Effects of Autistic Individuals’ Perceptions of Autism and Autism Social Identity on Their Collective Self-esteem. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders51(2), 704–714. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-020-04575-4


Corden, K., Brewer, R., & Cage, E. (2021). Personal Identity After an Autism Diagnosis: Relationships With Self-Esteem, Mental Wellbeing, and Diagnostic Timing. Frontiers in Psychology12, 699335–699335. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.699335


Darazsdi, Z., & Bialka, C. S. (2023). “Oh, you couldn’t be autistic”: Examining anti-autistic bias and self-esteem in the therapeutic alliance. Autism : the International Journal of Research and Practice27(7), 2124–2134. https://doi.org/10.1177/13623613231154622


Goffman, E. (2009). Stigma: Notes on the Management of Spoiled Identity.London: Simon and Schuster.


Leedham, A., Thompson, A. R., Smith, R., & Freeth, M. (2020). “I was exhausted trying to figure it out”: The experiences of females receiving an autism diagnosis in middle to late adulthood. Autism : the International Journal of Research and Practice24(1), 135–146. https://doi.org/10.1177/1362361319853442


Milton, D., Gurbuz, E., & López, B. (2022). The “double empathy problem”: Ten years on. Autism : the International Journal of Research and Practice26(8), 1901–1903. https://doi.org/10.1177/13623613221129123


Nguyen, W., Ownsworth, T., Nicol, C., & Zimmerman, D. (2020). How I See and Feel About Myself: Domain-Specific Self-Concept and Self-Esteem in Autistic Adults. Frontiers in Psychology11, 913–913. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.00913

Poquérusse, J., Pastore, L., Dellantonio, S., & Esposito, G. (2018). Alexithymia and autism spectrum disorder: A complex relationship. Frontiers in Psychology9, 1196–1196. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.01196

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